dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
