Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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