You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
