So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize