you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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