Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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