i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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