it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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