It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
