We need to rekindle our bromance
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize