Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
