A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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