I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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