Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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