Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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