you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
