This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Pants are for mortals
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
