There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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