Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
