our cab driver is having phone sex.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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