The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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