So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i will never coherently bang her
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I will be naked everywhere
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
