i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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