if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
