I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize