he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
