People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
