Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
