I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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