Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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