I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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