dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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