i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize