and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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