The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize