you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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