Define "chronic" masturbator.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
