As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
