his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
