marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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