I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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