which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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