Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
