I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
