So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm just crazy horny about you
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
