I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
