that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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