I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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