Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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