Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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