He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
