I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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