We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
