That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
