so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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