ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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