They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize