her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize