i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
