I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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