Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We left an ass print on the piano.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Randomize
