I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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