So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Your cock deserves a montage
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
