she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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