Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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