I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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