You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
