I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
