carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
