I smell stomach acid.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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