We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
