lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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