The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize