no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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