sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
