so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
