He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
