wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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