It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
