ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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