I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
