i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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