I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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