I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
