His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
