Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
