Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
