i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
