omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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