Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So much rum. So many feels.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
