So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He passed out mid-signature
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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